Go jokes

I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.

"Let go of my nose!"

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?

Go look in the mirror.

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

Why didn't the bear go to college?

Because bears don't go to college.

There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.

1-2-..... and he left without a trace.

An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.

After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."

Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.

The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."

Why couldn't the orphan go on the school field trip?

Because it required a parent's signature.

Me vs. the emo kid: we go to high-five a tree. I get a high five; the emo kid is left hanging.

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.

The emo kid said, "I wanna die." But the quiet kid said, "Nah, I'm gonna die myself, bye!"

I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Why did the orphan go to the playground?

To see if it could find its parents.

How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.

What do orphans and police not have in common?

The police can actually go home.

Man: How do you prepare your chicken?

Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?

No, because they already are on one.