Go jokes

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.

If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,

that's a big red flag!

What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.

It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com

*Titanic was sinking.*

Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?

Captain: Two miles.

Passenger: Which way are we going?

Captain: Down.

What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."

Who hates going to a pizza party?

A weirdough.

When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.

“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”

* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?

Frisk: One knife, plz.

Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.

Waiter: You eat a knife?

Frisk: Yes.

*Waiter asking for one knife*

Waiter: Here you go.

Frisk: Thanks you.

Why does an orphan go to a sewer?

So it can wash up.

Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"

The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

Why did the dick go insane?

Someone kept messing with his head.

I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.

When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.