Go jokes
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
Do you want to play Titanic?
When I say iceberg, you go down on me.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"
"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?
Everywhere.
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
I love ❤️ going to school 🏫.
What time is it when you walk out to the school?
Time to go to school!
It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.
I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
The orphanage said I couldn't go home.
Your dad is gone.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.