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Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.

Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.

One day my girlfriend and I were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.

There was a cowboy riding in a desert when he saw a little girl up ahead. He heard her crying, so he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her: "Hey, what's going on? Why do you cry? Where are your parents? What happened?"

The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The Indians came, killed my father and my mother, and raped my sister."

The cowboy just laughed, unlocked his belt, and pulled his trousers down and said, "Guess it isn't your day, is it?"

Why did the cow cross the road?

'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.

The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!

Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

Once, a mother worked in an orphanage as a cooker. She had a son and a daughter—twins.

When she was going to her work, she decided to take the twins with her. They were happy, they got ready and played with other children while their mother was cooking for other kids. Then, a poor family entered the orphanage. They said they wanted to adopt twins. As soon as they saw the children playing, they noticed the woman's kids. They said they wanted to adopt them. The manager said they weren't orphans, but before he said it, a teacher accidentally gave them to the poor family under the names of Layla and Logan. The kids were Kyle and Kayla. They went away with their new children, but the kids cried, they said they weren't orphans and that their mother was in the orphanage, cooking. The poor family didn't believe, they thought it was the children's reaction of getting adopted. The woman went outside of the kitchen, she didn't see her children. She asked the teacher... And when she found out, she screamed and ran outside. She was running at the poor family, when they thought she was a psychopath and wanted to kill them.

When Kyle and Kayla looked back, they saw their mother. They swung their hands so the poor family could let them away. They ran to their mother and hugged her. The poor family got shocked and called the cops. But the mother, she showed the documents and her parent rights. This all explains the worst joke, "Yo Momma Lost Ya."

I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

My sister just sits on the toilet with her iPad, then I go to do something at the sink and she says, "Bella, give me toilet paper!" Then I am annoyed, like super annoyed.

Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?

Because it’s only bad when white people do it.

  • 2

    • Q: Why did the first Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.

    Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.

    Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down.

    Q: Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.

    Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going.

    Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree? A: It was tied to the fifth koala.

    Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree? A: Peer group pressure.

  • 0

    • They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.

    Why did the banana go to the doctor?

    What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

    Me: The man sleeped in a $200 bed in His hole life so why dose he need a $2,000 coffin?

    My friend: They're cheaper at Costco.

    Me: Oh shit, you're going to have "fun" this weekend.