Girls jokes

A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!

Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.

What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?

Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.

So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.

I saw a girl crying. I asked her where her parents were, and she started to cry even more.

Man, I love working in the orphanage.

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?

They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.

What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?

They both only change their pads after every third period!

What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.

I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.

What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?

A brunette with bad breath.

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.

Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."

Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."

"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."

Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."

In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.

This shit is weird (as baby girl pees).

Dad: “Trust me, shitting is weirder.”

When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."

*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵

Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."

Hey.

Girl: Hey.

Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.

Girl: What?

It says "spray on flat surfaces."

*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?

girl: Are you saying I'm fat?

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?

The emo girl still bleeds.

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."