What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
Girls Jokes
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
Girls: π *Period* βοΈπ
Men: πΏ *Growth* πΏπΏπΏ
Whatβs the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I canβt.
Girl: My parents arenβt home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I donβt have.
Why was the new gamer mad when they were playing Overwatch?
Because gamer girl WAS ALREADY TRACER.
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
Girls with the name Beoni are white.
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?
Dead.
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."
