Girls jokes
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.
The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
Girls are like stones.
The flat ones get skipped.
Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.
If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?
HO, HO, HO!
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.
Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!
Rachel: Alright!
On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.
Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!
What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her?
They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"