Girls jokes

What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.

What is a popular name for girl peanuts?

Michelle.

Guy: Do you want a nickel?

Girl: Sure.

Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?

Girl: 😳😩😩😩

A guy walks up to a girl. He says, "Hey, you want a poker? I’ve got one."

Prince, I promise you that "qwen" girl you're chatting with is a faker! I am the real lover for you, not her. She's a stranger!

"Prince, why that girl, not me! What about me!!!!!!!"

A professional golfer driving his Porsche picked up an Irish girl hitchhiker. He had his golfing gear on the back seat. The Irish girl picked up something and asked, "What are these?"

"Those are tees," he said. "I rest my balls on them when I drive."

"Wow!" said the girl. "What will those car makers think of next!"

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.

The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.

The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.

LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.

Doc: Can I help you?

Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.

Doc: When did it begin?

Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).

Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...

Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.

Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?

Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.

Things said by racist aliens:

"Some of my best friends are Green."

"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."

"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."

"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"

"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."

"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"

"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."

"Get out of my store you grigger!"

"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"

What's that stupid girl in your class called?

Thot.

These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.

Girls with the name Carley have the biggest forehead on the earth, I mean, moon.

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)

How do you rape a girl?

By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!

What's the difference between depression and a girl?

XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.

A girl had black hair. Also, I threw rubbish at her to realize she wasn't a bin.

A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."

Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.

Mom: Meet my boyfriend.

Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?

Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.