Girls jokes

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.

Emo girls are bad, but what's worse? Cutting yourself.

What do emo boys and emo girls have in common? They both wanna die and cut so they can die faster, but they are already dead, already dead to me!

Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.

Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?

Boys: blue is blue.

Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?

They like to bone a petite.

Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.

Girl: Your card got declined.

Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.

The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

...

I guess her rubber broke too.

The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."

He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."

Me: I saw your parents yesterday.

Orphan girl: Where?

Me: The coffin was still open.

I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.

How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?

By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.

A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"

She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.

The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."

What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?

A cutting board.

Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.

How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."