Girls jokes

What do girls and rocks have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?

The helicopter blade!

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

What do TVs and girls have in common?

They both show you stuff when you turn them on!

So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.

What do 9-year-old girls want? To be ate again!

A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."

Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.

I want my first time to be special.

Girls are just like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.

Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.

Orphan: Mine are never.

What do you call a girl with no legs?

Unshakeable.

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.

As I was eating this girl out, I thought I tasted some horse semen... I exclaimed, "Oh, Grandma! That's how you died!"

Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.

Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."

I keep getting these letters from this little girl every year on Father's Day. I told the orphanage to stop letting her send these.

Girl: Can we visit Grandma this weekend?

Mother: Sure.

Five-year-old: Look mommy! Two people and they're wearing rope necklaces!

My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)