Girls jokes

If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.

Elephants never forget.

Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."

Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.

One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."

The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."

Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".

At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.

Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.

What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?

"Sandy cheeks."

I think my family is racist.

I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?

Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.

I want my first time to be special.

Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.

What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?

"Sum ting wong."

what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)

A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"

Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.

The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."

How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.

"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?