Newest Girlfriend Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her

what's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?

I was out dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 47, had many people shouting at me and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up? I thought what all we had was special

My girlfriend gave me the best blowjobs then she grow teeth

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast.

I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The ...bastard.....used .....coins"

I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day 😮‍💨

My girlfriend got covid

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf...

So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.

I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.

A NICKNAME TO CALL YOUR SHORT GF

LITTLE ANKLE BITTER MASTER YODA HASBULA MY LITTLE EWOK

I look at my gf’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can

Like it’s my next meal

My girlfriend went to Tokyo and she died in the tsunami. Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean".

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking

Tell her to slow down and use lubricant

Me and my girlfreind were walking in the woods, HER: I am Scared ME: What do you think I feel I have to walk back alone

My girl freind called me a cock sucker but HEY 20 dollars is 20 dollars

what's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend? I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it.