You will never have a girlfriend

My girlfriend broke up with me this morning and we just started dating yesterday.

Now she’s having a breakfast.

are you a red light because i stop every time i see you

whats the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?

there is no difference

My girlfriend is like treasure to me

You need a shovel to find her…

I once dated a Math teacher, it turned out she was nothing but problems

Me and my girls friend broke up so I took her wheel chair and she came crawling back

The other day my Girlfriend asked me to hand her, the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking so I brought home some tampons

Imagine this…ur a lesbian and ur doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say “eat me baby”

She pulls out a knife and fork

Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. not everyone gets it

son said to father last night was the best you and mom father said yeah me you and your mother had sex song said it was fun licking her P***** father said I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did did it feel good son said yes it was wanna do it again tomorrow father said YES BUT without your mom well suck each others dick and lick it and bite and shove each others dick next to each other son said yeah and if we do it again lets have mom and my girlfriend join next time father said ok its time to go to bed son son said ok love u can u and mom sleep with me without your clothes father said ok but you have to promise to go to bed son said ok see u there💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦

My girlfriend accused me of cheating and i said to her, your starting to sound like my wife.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!

That’s the best I’ve done so far.

What’s the different’s a girlfriend and a train the train will touch me


The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”

one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room

One day me and my girlfriend were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.

What does a canabolist do after he dumps his girlfriend??

He wipes his butt