Girl jokes
What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.
Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.
A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.
First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.
It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."
He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.
She walks away and says ok.
The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
A young girl was playing in the park with her mother when she asked the question, "Mummy, what's that building over there?" The mother looked at the prison, smiled, and said, "That's where the cotton pickers live."
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.
The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.
Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
Girls are whores.
Gay person to girl: What’s your favorite planet?
Girl: Penus-(penis)(venus), and what is yours?
Gay person: What else, it's Your Anus (Uranus)!😅
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.
Mom: Meet my boyfriend.
Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?
Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.
Do you want to hear three jokes?
Joke Joke Joke.
I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed.
Lauren: Fine, but it's early.
*Karen wakes up and exits room*
*Lauren hears noise*
Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.
Lauren: *laughs*
Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*