New Gf Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

If you have a GF/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say "Your short lemme add some inches"

my gfs pregers im 13 she was raped

when little johnny was about 3 he got curious and stuck his hand up a maniquins pants and his mom says no little johnny there is teeth up there that will bite off your hand little johnny thing oh no i cant do that again. a few years later he was 15 and he had a gf and they were making out and she says why dont you ever stick your hand up my pants he says on no my mom says there is teeth that will bite off my hand up there she says no there isnt just look little johnny looks and says well no wonder there aint no teeth by the way them gums look.

My gf told me i have to be more in touch with my feminine side. So i crashed the car

Bully: How’s ur gf? Kid: I don’t have one how’s your parents? Bully: *crys* Kid: *Walks out orphanage

A hobo couple is making out under a bridge. The gf goes - Johnny, why your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!

Bf :- babe are you traffic police? Gf :- No Bf :- then why do you shout at me not wearing the helmet ?

Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- " You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! yeah I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".

So I had a friend who was an orphan and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.

Why cant orphans have a gf?

They have no one to call daddy

My gf dumped me so I took her wheel chair

Guess who came crawling back

Whats the best thing about a orphan GF

You don't have to meet her parents

A guy start texting a Cute girl and ask to give her phone no. So he can't call her the girl ok but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number then I am gonna be your gf and will meet you somewhere the transfer her the balance and called her but turn out the girl was actually a guy making him fool he blocked him. Next day he was very angry about himself being fool so thought he gonna do the same he make a fake girl account and start texting with some random guy and then he ask that guy to send him balance. Suddenly his father came in his bedroom and ask " son can you send me some balance i am gonna send you can after sometime" that guy look at his father with suspicious eyes and then he call that random number suddenly his father phone start ringing......