Gf jokes
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.
Like it’s my next meal.
Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.
Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.
Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.
Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.
I'm 14. I have had sex before. I have 206 bones in my body, but when I'm with my gf, I have 207.
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.
Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.
My gf dumped me, so I took her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?