Get jokes
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
Why will we never get hungry in the desert?
We have lots of sand-which's.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old.)
What does 6 tell 7?
"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub? Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"
Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.
Pickup line for gay people:
Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.
What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?
The tomato gets picked.
A guy once went hunting at a Hunting Ranch owned by a Hunter and his Wife. After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in Rancher’s Living-room. There they were having a grand ole time until the Rancher’s wife walks in. The Hunter looks at her and says “that’s a nice piece of ass you got your self there.” The Rancher replied “(with a harsh southern accent from years of cigarette smoke) You’ve never been so right in your life, honey why don’t show our guest your tits.” She agrees and then shows the hunter her plump DD cup breast. After he gets a good gander he says “Nice.” Then Rancher shouted “show em yer peker now Hon.” She agreed and whipped out a 13inch Johny, and twirled it around like how an Elephant would move his. Now dazed and confused the Hunter yells out “What in Sam Hill is that!!” and the Rancher replied “Now....Lemme tell you..There ain’t a thing like it”.
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Orphan Friend: Sure.
Friend: Parents.
Other: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
What time is it when you get home?