Get jokes
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.
The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?
The nun gets pregNUNt.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
ssundee: "If this video gets to 100k likes, I'll post part 2."
SSUNDEE WIFE: "SHUT THE #### UP!"
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
Want to know the difference between an orphan and a flower??
Flowers get picked.
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.
The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."
Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.
Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.
After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.
Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"
The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
What do you get when Glen fucks an orange?
Adam.
What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.