Get jokes
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get on the person's face.
Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:
Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.
Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"
Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"
Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"
An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"
Me: I broke me bum.
Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.
What did rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop and Smoke.
How do you get away with murder?
"Hey, is that a peach?"
*gets slapped on the butt*
"Noted."
When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.
Me: Takes five minutes.
Me: Hun, you done yet?
What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?
A firecracker.
Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?
They di2s drying plans.
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
Why can’t the orphan get any of the new iPhones?
'Cause none of them have a home button.
You can't send an Indian to walk a corner. The only corner they will get to is 7-11.
Hello. What can I get you? A knife, mustard, Marella, gorilla?
My roasts aren't funny. At least this shit gets me money.
I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...
Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.