Get jokes
If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
What did the orphan say to the other?
"Robin, get the Batmobile!"
I did a walk today and walked today to get my car.
What do you get when you add 5 + 2 + 3 + 2 + 200 + 10?
Completely confuse you!
I am counting my fingers and get nine. Why?
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.
I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
Why did the chicken go to the mall?
To get new feathers!
Sisters before misters.
I hope you get better.
I love you.
Why can’t orphans play baseball/softball?
They never get to home!
Why are smurfs blue?
Because they get bruises all the time.
"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Nobody, because chickens don't talk."
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a NAVIGATOR dropping the beat.
A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:
TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!