Get jokes

You: I want my mama.

Me: Soz, you can't even get one.

Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?

Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.

Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.

Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!

Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*

Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.

Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.

Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.

The most unrealistic part of Chotta Bheem is not him eating a laddu and getting power. It's him eating a whole laddu in one shot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...

Short people tend to get angry easily...

'Cause they're so close to the ground, their anger doesn't dissipate easily...

I have a riddle for you:

10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.

Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”

Once he eats it, he starts crying.

Why?

Roses are red, get on your knees, and bark for me!

Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!

Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.

What did Yarn Yoshi say to Poochy whilst trying to solve a puzzle?

"Alright Poochy, it's time to get crafty!"

How do bees get to school?

They take the buzz.

Heh heh, get it? 69! Ha ahahaha!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Rabid cow.

Rabid cow who?

Hold on, I need to get my gun...

What time is it when you get home and you can walk, walk? Eeeeeew!

You're so ugly, even Smara gets jealous.

I did a walk today and had dinner 🍴 night time to do you a good dinner 🍴 night and dinner 🍴 night. I love 💕 was the chicken 🍗 I had to go get dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night time to be good to get a night sleep 💤 night night fun day tomorrow.

What time is it when you get home, and you can walk, walk home and walk, walk home from?

Why don't rappers ever get lost?

Because they always know where the BEAT is.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.

Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.