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Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?
A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
How do you get away with rape?
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
What do you get when you die in Undertale and go to Temmie Village?
DeterMIENATION
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered Domino's and got "gets".
Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?
A clout chaser.
Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Get a fucking life, you horny bastards!