Get jokes
How old are you...? I don’t give a shit, stfu and get in ma van.
“NO NO NO”
I’ll give you some candy.
“Oh ok🤩”
Is crummy bears alright??
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold? A: It’s always 90 degrees.
What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather? A brrrrrrrr-d!
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
He could never get a home run.
What time is it when you get home and you can't walk home?
What kind of pizza do Asians get?
Prain.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!