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Lawyer

What time is it when a rooster sits on a fence? Morning.

What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence.

What time is it when a lawyer sits on the fence? Time for an elephant to sit on the fence.

Laundry

Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!

Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.

Idiot

The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!

Ball

I was at a football match, and the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me. *face palm*

Memes

Dog

Why is a rap boat like a dog?

They both get off sniffing assholes.

Mother

Knock, knock.

(Who’s there?)

Roger.

(Roger who?)

Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!

Dick

Wait, this is the category "dick." Sorry yours isn't long for yo mama to get fucked up.

Dilemma

Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?

Butt

Why don't butts get along?

Because they can't stand each other's cheek!

Booty

Why don't booties get invited to parties?

They tend to CRACK people up!

Butt

What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?

A booty call.

Job

What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?

Not getting the job at McDonald’s.

Bridge

Why didn’t the construction worker build a bridge?

He was scared to get across.

Fortnite

When you are playing Fortnite and you get a big W, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Ball

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger before my eyes.

Then it hit me.

Baby

Q: How do you get 10 babies in a trashcan?

A: With a blender.

Q: How do you get them out?

A: Chips.

Ball

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.