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What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?

The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.

There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?

When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.

Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.

Why don’t Indians play soccer?

Cos every time they get a corner, they open a shop.

This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"

The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."

The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."

Do the voice in your head.

When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.

Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked.

Q: What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

A: Apples get picked.

My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.

Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!

How is sports like regular life for orphans?

They don't get picked for either.

Why do gay people get bad grades?

Because they don't get straight A's.

Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?

They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.

Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get to the house. They turned the lights out. Jill shouts, "It's a dildo, WTF?"

If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apples get picked! 🤪

I tried getting an abortion, but they said, "Sir, this is a pizzeria."

Get pranked, bozo!