Get jokes
I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get elected.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
the moderator's of wje when @matt gets mad at them
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.
Who goes to a comedian show and gets offended?
A feminist.
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. My friend's already on stage 4.
Do trees shit?
Well, how else would we get #2 pencils?
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.