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Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Why can't Indians play football?
Every time they get a corner, they open up a shop. 🙉
What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.
Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always follow the street signs.
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
What is one question on a tech test you should always ask before getting down?
What in the Robot!?