Get jokes
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know how to get to home.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
Men (I LOVE DICK) FUCK YOU BY THE WAY
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Guys we should stop making orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad... oh wait... Continue 🙂
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Hi, I did not get your email address. I sent you a...
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them, but the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, “Shove it up your butt, if you laugh we kill you.” So, he shoves the peach up his butt and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native Americans kill him. They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, “I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?” The second guy says, “Oh yea, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?
So he could be in a lovely family before death.