Get jokes

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.

Why did the one-armed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop.

What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

Predator 2.

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended.

I’m in catholic school.

If an emo doesn't get better by Christmas, Santa's reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year.

Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?

A dictator.

Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?

To get hit by a car.

Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

What does gum in my d*ck have in common?

Both get chewed on by little kids.

This is how big cats were named.

"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."

"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."

Jokes are like Indians.

They never die, they just get reincarnated.

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.

It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!