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Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?
A: To get to the other side to find his parents.
There was no other side of the road.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
What did the parent say to Michael Jackson?
"Get off my kid!"
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Memes
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.