Get jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
What's a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.
He never came back.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?
I’m Zaptos intolerant!
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Q: Why do orphans get on Facebook?
A: Because they get liked.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
Why can't emos stand in chairs?
Because they never get down.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.