What’s the worst part of being a pedophile?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Get Jokes
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?
Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
Guess what song was playing during 9/11? Timber by Ke$ha.
Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.
Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!
What do school shooting jokes and school shooting victims have in common? They never get old.
Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
A: Apples get picked! 😱
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
