Get jokes
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Why did Jake cross the road? To get a Hagen Daz bar.
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
Gloves!
JK, he hasn't opened it yet.
The radio is a player—it always gets turned on by lots of different people.
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
What did Sally get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.