Get jokes
Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us?
Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: Why?
Dad: To get to the other side, but your mother only made it about halfway.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
Please, can someone comment on this post to explain what satisfaction you get from joking about such serious issues?
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Why does the Sun go to school?
To get brighter!
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"
Do you get it? SEArch.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.