Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
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Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
What’s the difference between rap lovers and the Gigachad?
Rap lovers get more pussy.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?
It's the only way they’ll get love.
What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.
What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?
Christianity.
