My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
Get Jokes
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?
Because they’ll get stoned.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?
Not getting the job at McDonald’s.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
