Get jokes
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get on the person's face.
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to.
Get it?
POV: You go to Asian prison.
You get served extra rice.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?
This is a pig problem!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a bus.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!