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Dark humor is like the plague; everyone was supposed to get it.
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
Why did the elephant get kicked out of the public pool?
Because he kept on dropping his trunks! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
Why did Trump's brain cross the road?
Oh wait, there is no other side.
Why do all orphans get iPhone X's?
There isn't a home button.
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
Dark humor is like water.
Not everybody gets it.
"Why is it that orphans only play tennis?""That's the only love they can get..."
Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍
After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side?
Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"
There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"