What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
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Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.
Man, I loved that wheelchair.
What do a politician and a minister have in common?
Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
Your forehead is so big you can jump without getting hurt.
If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.
If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?
Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?
Because it's male bonding.
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
This boy said, "Get your hairline straight." I said, "Girls don't have a hairline. How about you go to the barber shop and let your barber do your hair 10 times worse than he did the first time."
I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.
God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...
