Get jokes
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
Whatβs the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and thatβs the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. πππππ 6 weeks later, she died. πππππππππππππ
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
Trump can get banned. The cops can tack him to jail, and Trump go go go go bye bye for good. Trump is meing.
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.
Please no harsh comments toward each other.
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! π
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.