New Get Jokes - Page 139 - Worst Jokes Ever

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.

Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.

Please no harsh comments toward each other.

What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?

"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."

Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?

A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄

What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?

A pickle.

What mountain do people like to race on?

Mount Rushmore.

Get it?

Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?

Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?

Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.

Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.

Son: And you got $0.00.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?

DUH! A sticker.

What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.

What happened to the frog that parked illegally?

He was toad away.

Get it?

Why does it get hot after a baseball game?

'Cause all the fans have left.

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."

I know it's really, really, really, really bad.

Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.

Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*

Dad: Babe, we need to talk.

Mom: Okay......

Dad: He's grounded.

Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.

Son: Am I getting a new daddy?

Mom: Soon honey, soon....

Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.