What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Get Jokes
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
A teacher asked her class “what is sex?”
Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Caused by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration*?”
The teacher faints.
Why can an orphan only get an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
Trump can get banned. The cops can tack him to jail, and Trump go go go go bye bye for good. Trump is meing.
