Get jokes
How do you get away with murder?
How do you get away with rape?
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
I am curious how many likes this will get.
LIKE IT!!!!!
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
What do you call an orphan who can't get 5 stars on GTA?
Not wanted.
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
An orphan and a homeless man get into a fight, so he yells in a mirror.
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.