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Why did the orphan not get service at the restaurant?
Because it was a family restaurant!
Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
This isn't a joke but...
GET IN THE VAN, JANICE!
Hello everyone, I am famous YouTuber MrBeast. I have an announcement to make on this website: Whoever gets the 1000th comment on the post I link below will get 1 thousand dollars, from me! We're almost there, get commenting guys!
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What's the difference between an apple and a child?
The apple gets picked.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.
My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.
Why do gays get bad grades?
They don't get straight A's.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
FREE MY ÑIGGA EDP HE INNOCENT ONCE UPON A TIME I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND HE FARTED SO GAHDAMN MUCH INTO MY MOUTH THAT I STARTED DROOLING A HERSHEY WATERFALL THIS ÑIGGA IS SO SEXY AND I LOVE WHEN HE SITS HIS FAT ASS ON TOP OF ME TYSON U JUST JEALOUS YOU AIN’T GOT NO ONE LIKE BRYANT U RETARDED LOOKING ASS BITCH I DARE YOU TO GET A PARTNER AS LOYAL AND INNOCENT AS EDP FREE MY ÑIGGA BIG HOMIE CHEESE HEAD 474747 HE INNOCENT.
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.
Dark humor is like pussy: whining bitches don't get it.
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.