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Peter Pan

  • Why is Peter Pan always flying?

    Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old.)

  • 4
  • Priest

  • What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?

    The subway guy didn’t get away with it...

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    Dwarf

  • This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."

  • 1
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    Diarrhea

  • Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

    When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

    I said, "I shit you not."

  • 1
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    Butt

  • Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.

    Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.

    Me: How do you know that?

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    Parent

  • Why did your parents abandon you?

    Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."