Get jokes

Why can’t orphans have phones?

Because it has a home button.

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.

I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

How do you break up a fight between two gay men?

Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?

The tornado siren doesn't get raped.

Why do dwarfs do drugs?

To get high.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.

Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

What’s the difference between women and cars?

At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.

What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?

They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.

Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.