There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:
Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.
Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?
Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
You take a plane from Australia. Your mom is American, your dad is British, and your brother (and you) is Canadian (well, because they traveled along many places). You are eating dinner, but you realized you were going to Europe.
You went sleepy, and you forgot your pet named "Strallia." But she could not go anyways, so you had to leave her. When you went to Europe, you were in the "COUNTRY-SIDE."
What is the continent that ALWAYS sleeps and sleeps and sleeps and that is so tired that it won’t wake up? Eur-ope.
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
What is the poorest country in the world?
Poortugal...
How do you know if a woman that is poor who is between 18-24 years old is poor enough to do anything for money to help pay her bills? She would be working as a lesbian prostitute inside a lesbian hotel in San Francisco, CA.
You wanna talk Kenya ;)
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Spell "I hod."
Why did Monaco cross the road? It smashed a 1-mile radius of the road + the chicken.
What did South Korea say to North Korea? Go read a book!
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
Where is Australia?
Where is Colorado?
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
Wanna hook up at Mount Cook?
Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.
How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
