what was my great grandpas last words
SHIT MG42!!!
What does BLM stand for?? Biden loves millennials
i heard world war 500000 in my parents
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . "You little bastard!"
A teacher asked her class “what is sex?” Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Causes by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration* The teacher faints
By:Xzavier
I was making a bet with my grandfather who would die first I said that I would die first. He said "Bet" and Died after he drank his coffee He was my least favorite grandparent
A mom gave her son "the talk". her son replies "wait so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied.
There are 4 people ona plane while its crashing and there are only 3 parachutes theres opera, Obama a little girl and, Trump opera grabs. Parachute and says, "I'm famous i get one" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well im president of cource i get one" and obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since your the future or our generation take the last one" the little girl hugs obama and says, "Actually we can both have one Trump took my backpack"
I was listening to my children praying. And my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?" I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings are born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother." She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month. Like the other ones that ran away.
corona be like: eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos *snap*
So my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
A kid named billy get his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money and his wallet taken by his father. The father then gets all the money taken from his by the bully’s grandfather along with is own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by billy along with his own wallet.
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says "I'm hungry" The child looks at the father and replies "Hi hungry, I'm son" the father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
people wonder why are generation grew up so sarcastic
hay how do i look
with your eyes Joe
There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted Roblox. One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury. One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignore it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened. The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!" Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
At weddings, old people tell kids "you're next". At funerals, little kids tell old people "you're next".
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Grandpa: you can't have phones within 15 feet of the table Me: and you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”
