Generation

Generation jokes

Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.

"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.

And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."

A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."

To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."

To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"

  • 1

    • A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."

    The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."

    "Thanks Dad," the son says.

    The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."

    You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!

    You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.

    Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

    Boy: "What's that?"

    Grandpa: "What's what?"

    So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.

    Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"

  • 0

    • My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?

  • 2

    • Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."

    Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?

    Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?

  • 2

    • My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.

    One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

    My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"

  • 2

    • I am sorry, but I need some text to work with. Please provide the text from the comments section so I can generate the JSON data for you.

    A teacher asked her class “what is sex?”

    Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Caused by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration*?”

    The teacher faints.

    I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.

    He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.

    He was my least favorite grandparent.