Gay jokes
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
What do you call a garage that is gay?
A gyarge.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
Gay dik.
Smol Dik.
Plastik Dik.
Rubeh Dik.
Smooth Dik.
Metahl Dik.
A gay rapist saves a female rape victim, then rapes the rapist.
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
"Fortnite balls, I'm gay. I like boys. I kidnap autistic kids. Lil Mosey is white."
I'm Michael Sam. I'm gay.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
Man, I hate the government.
Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."
The day I saw people asking Lebron James whether he liked to play basketball, my thoughts be like: wait, so Lebron James is gay cuz he likes to play with them balls.
Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.
Been watching Smackdown DVDs, and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.