Game jokes
How do Chinese people play in Spy?
They can't.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!
Memes
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."
He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.
What games do you play if you are bored?
Board games.
Pacman 200 balls
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.
Why do butts always win at poker?
They always hold the best PAIRS!
What’s a booty’s favorite game?
Hide and cheek.
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?
You can't even deal with it!
What is green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table.
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.