Funny jokes

What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?

A male Duck on Viagra.

Spongulbub

Spingebinge

Sponk

Spunkulbub

Bobspunge

Spong

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have the guts.

Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.

Students: Damn!

Teacher: Is anyone missing?

Students: Your parents!

Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?

Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?

When you're born on 4/20/69...

Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!

What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

Why does your grandma like gardening so much?

Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.

What is a necrophiliac's safe word?

"I'm alive!"

I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

Anyways,

When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?

The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!

Wanna hear a joke?

No, I'm already looking at one.

Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.

How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a Golbat.

"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌