Fucking

Fucking jokes

Why can't women just shut the fuck up! I hate women. They need to know their place and stay in the kitchen and be baby makers...

These are the reasons the West will fall. Also, men's rights are f***ing stupid if men keep voting for rich whites!

Bick: Jesus isn't real.

Ron: Yes, He is.

Bick: Prove it, bitch.

Ron: Cussing is a sin. Open the curtains.

Bick: Wh-?

Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!

The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.

Ron: Fuck you, Jesus.

Bick: Told you Jesus was real.

Satan: Get to work, slaves.

Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

20 years later

Johnny: Hey dad.

Dad: Yea?

Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!

Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.

Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.

Dad:...

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.

My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"

Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."