Fruit

Fruit Jokes

Wheelchair

How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.

Gay

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.

Surgery

My cousin is a surgeon.

Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.

Pear

When I was a kid, I knew a woman named Betty Pears.

She died a horrible death from Alzheimer's.

I thought a pear was a fruit, not a vegetable!

Tomato

Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?

A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.

Banana

Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing with the bent one.

Difference

Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?

Duck

I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:

Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?

Because he wanted grapes.

Charity

I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.

I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".

Jelly

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.