Fruit jokes
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One's actually picked.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Only one of them gets picked...
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple actually gets picked.
Why does an orphan hate apples? Because they get picked on more.
What does an apple have in common with an emo kid?
Answer: They both hang.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What is an orange?
World's only not rhyming thing. Hehhhehehehehhe.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?
Let the mango.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.