Fruit jokes
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!
Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.
So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
Memes
brother
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.
Why did the orange stop?
Because it ran out of juice. Hahhaha.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
Why don’t you peel a banana?
It’s too hard to kill your nana.
Where do fruits go on vacation?
"Pear-is!"
What game do Emos play?
Fruit Ninja.
(Sorryyyyy Lmaoooo)
What do you call a gay emo kid?
Fruit Ninja.
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.
What do rappers like cantaloupe?
Because they’re always dropping fresh MELON!
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!
POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.