Fruit jokes

I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.

What did the banana say to Ethan, Ryan, and Cooper?

"Hi!"

What did an orange say the day before going to work?

"Back to the rind!"

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Orange." "Orange who?" "Orange you coming?"

Timmy has 5 apples.

His train is 7 minutes early.

Calculate the mass of the sun.

What did the teacher say to the student?

Orange you glad to see me?

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

What do you call a pineapple? P.P.A.P. LOLLLLOLOLOLLOL9LOOLKOK.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Well, at least one gets picked.

What do you call a homosexual in a coma?

A fruit and a vegetable!

Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.

Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"

An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple has a family tree.

How do you saw an apple with no mouth?

A P P L E

You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?

We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.

What do an Apple and an Emo have in common?

They hang from trees.