Fruit jokes

What did the teacher say to the student?

Orange you glad to see me?

What do you call a homosexual in a coma?

A fruit and a vegetable!

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Well, at least one gets picked.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

What do you call a pineapple? P.P.A.P. LOLLLLOLOLOLLOL9LOOLKOK.

Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.

Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.

So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.

They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"

What do an Apple and an Emo have in common?

They hang from trees.

How do you saw an apple with no mouth?

A P P L E

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.

What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?

I don't know, what?

They are both purple except for the elephant.

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple has a family tree.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.

You wanna know what I have in common with an apple?

We BOTH look good hanging in a tree.

You're an apple. Now suck my dick!

I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:

Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?

Because he wanted grapes.