Fruit jokes
What is Ronaldo's favorite fruit?
Oranges because they have vitamin C.
What did the grape say to the rapper?
"You're so VINE, you must be on the JUICE!"
Pineapple goes on pizza.
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?
I find bananas very appeeling.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!
Applesauce.
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.
So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.