Fruit jokes
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
Who here plays blox fruits?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What do lemons 🍋 wear in the rain?
Yellow jackets.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
If an orange is orange, does that mean it's orange?
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
What do oranges 🍊 sweat?
Juice!
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.