Fruit jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
What do you call a crazy lesbian?
Fruit Loops.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Where does the banana learn to split? At Sunday school.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.